In Glorious 4K UltraHD coming to the nearest cinema around you!
So I ended up asking a company, Poise, to narrate my favorite written story.
I glanced at my website analytics, and the poor soul spent four minutes reading, and then another six re-reading the piece to truly understand the context.
I thought it would turn out better. Maybe I should just stick to narrating with my own voice and not subject voice actors to this ordeal, or not do podcasts at all.